Pattern
by archard-winchester
Summary: Sam has seen Dean self-destruct before. He's not letting that happen again. Tag to 4x11 Family Reamins.


A/N: Tag to Family Remains.

Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are blue

I don't own, so you don't sue.

Summary: It's difficult to see your brother self-destruct again. But now you have a chance to learn from the mistakes you made the first time around.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's becoming a pattern with them. His brother opens his heart to him by the side of the road, hoping for some words to alleviate the pain and guilt and Sam just stands there, trying and failing to find them. Then shuts away his emotions once again and they go on as if nothing happened. _That's because there is nothing you could say to make it better, dumbass, _The Dean-in-his-head tells him. The real Dean, the one sitting beside him, focusing on the road, seems to have forgotten the conversation already. Once gain they were moving ahead to a new hunt. A new fugly to kill. Because that's what they did, right? No matter how tired or burnt out or sleep deprived they were. Well, not any more. He could see the road his brother was on and he knew where that led. He'd seen it with his dad. He'd seen it with himself after his brother died. He'd seen it with his brother after their dad had died. And he'd seen it with countless other hunters who were a mere shell of their former selves. And no way was Dean going down that road. Not again.

"Dean, you think we could take a break for a while. We just finished a hunt." This was going to be a difficult sell but by God, he'd make Dean relax even if it meant drugging his coffee and tying him to bed.

"You tired already Sammy? Why don't you get a bit of a shuteye? I'll wake you when we get there."

"No Dean. I'm not talking about some nap in the backseat or a night at a motel. I mean honest-to-god, relax-and-enjoy vacation."

"Sorry pal. No can do. There's a black-dog in Oregon with my name on its ass."

"Well then we'll tell some other hunter to get it. Just put out the info- Look for a dog in Oregon. Big, black, red-eyes and has 'Dean' branded on its butt."

He laughed it off. Just like that. Like the whole thing was a joke.

"Dean, I'm not kidding about the vacation."

"Sam, if you are that tired, we'll take some easy job. Something I can do by myself. And you can rest yourself up."

"I think we both know which one of us needs more rest." There. It was out. No more pretending to appeal to Dean's big-brother side. He saw the lines around Dean's mouth harden and his eyes shut-down, like he was preparing himself for a battle.

"I'm fine Sam. Never been more juiced-up."

"No you are not Dean. You are tired and I need you to be on the top of your game if you are watching my back."

"Sam, just drop it alright. I'm the best that I could be. Just let it go."

He did not want it to come to this. But Dean needed this and this was no time to pull punches.

"I saw you on the last hunt Dean. You were barely able to defend yourself against that girl. And you had to shoot the brother to stop him. That is not top of your game."

"Hey, you didn't go up against them. They were surprisingly strong for guys who'd spent their lives in walls. Plus they could see much better in dark, being accustomed to it and all."

"And I've seen you fight before. You could have have torn them apart with your bare hands without breaking a sweat. Together. Hell, you could have taken down someone twice their size."

"She had a knife Sam. They both did."

"And what do we do in that case. You grab the knife-hand. You go behind them and you hit them on the head. You could barely grab her hand. Your reaction time is shot and your movements are slow. You'll get yourself killed going on like this. And sorry Dean, but I'm not gonna let that happen."

"Since when did you start channeling dad?" He knows Sam as well as Sam know him. The one thing that could get him going in the opposite direction was telling him that it was what dad would've done. _Sorry Dean. Not this time."_

"Since you started acting like a teenager."

Silence reigned in the car as Dean mulled it over. As he considered the idea of taking a break. _Yeah right. More likely he was trying to think of a way out._

"Alright, fine, you win." No way was that that easy. "We'll stop in the next town. Go to a bar, hustle some pool and rest up a bit. We're running low on cash anyway."

Classic Dean technique. Give in just enough to make it feel like a victory while actually giving next to nothing. Sam knew that this rest-stop would be spent hustling, drinking and looking for a job.

"Nice try. Sorry Dean, but I mean a proper vacation. One where you don't look at newspapers or obits or news. One where you ignore all calls from our hunter friends. One where you dig into the stash of credit cards you've been holding onto. And one where the only thing you look up on the internet is porn."

"Sam, we can't take time taking breaks. In case you didn't get the newsletter, there is an apocalypse coming up."

"Fine, if Castiel comes up with a holy mission, we go. Otherwise, we're taking a break."

"What the hell is wrong with you? If you wanna give up hunting, just say so Sam. I thought you actually wanted to find more jobs."

"I do Dean. But not like this. What you are doing, it's killing you Dean. You have got to slow down. Saving people doesn't mean you have to get yourself killed."

"I'm not gonna get myself killed."

"Yes you are." _Alright then, time to bring out the big guns._" You said it yourself, Dean. No matter how many people you save, it's not gonna change what you did down there."

Sam cringed as Dean grabbed the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. There speed picked up as he unconsciously stepped on the gas. _Damn it Sam, _said the Dean-in-his-head, _I told you that stuff so that you could comfort me. Not throw it in my face at the first chance you get._

"What are you saying Sam. I should just stop hunting, because that's not gonna help me any?"

"No, I'm saying that you should take a break from it all. It will all be there when you get back to it. Just take your mind off it for a while."

"Things don't cease to exist just because you don't think about them. We of all people should know that."

"And obsessing over things you can't change doesn't make them better either. We of all people should learn that. Look, all I'm asking is a few days to recharge. A few days away from it all."

Dean sighed. He was there. Almost there.

"It's not all that easy, y'know. I can't just stop thinking. I can't just shut it off and everything will be rainbows and lollipops."

"You think I don't know that? Dean, I've watched you go through nightmares. I've seen you go drain bottles of alcohol in a day. It's not gonna be easy Dean. It's not gonna make everything alright in just a week. But it'll be a start and I'm gonna be there for you."

Sam waited for the usual chick-flick remark. Instead he was surprised to hear Dean say quietly-

"You've been there for me Sam."

"Not as much as I could have been." _Not as much as I should have been._

"God, we done with the whole touchy-feely crap now?"

"As soon as you say yes."

"Alright, fine yes. We'll take a vacation."

"Thank-you."

"But, if I don't like it we come back to hunt."

"You'll like it."

"And if we get calls from any hunters, we're back in the game."

"Deal."

"And if something major comes up, we get back."

"Alright."

"And if we happen to run into hunt, we take it."

"As long as you didn't orchestrate the running into."

"OK then. Got any plans?"

"Yeah, I was thinking we cold hit Vegas. We could spend the weekend at a spa, just relaxing. We could hit the casinos later. We could check out a recently opened museum."

"Dude, a museum? Really?"

"It's called 'Erotic Heritage Museum'."

" Seriously? They made a museum on porn? People man."

"Oh and there is some sort of magician's convention there later in the week. We could check that out. Would be a nice finisher, don't you think?"

"Sure, let's hit Vegas."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You hear that? It's the purple button. Its saying 'press me, press me".


End file.
